| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2005|08:35 am] |
theres just some things in life that you wish would change
you try to change it
but the harder you try to the harder it gets
its a constant struggle
life is a constant struggle
but you always think theres some sort of hope
just like the saying
"if theres a will, theres a way"
sometimes thers no way
but you try anyways
its like being an explorer
you dont know where youre going
you dont know what land you may or may not find
you dont even know if youre gonna come back alive
but you just be brave and confident
life is confusing
it can also be like a roller coaster
you have your ups and downs
but no matter how it turns out
it was either fun (optomist)
or made you sick (pessimist)
life can make you sick
its gone up and down so many times
that you just want to get off of the roller coaster
but your restrained
and have to live with it
theres twists in the roller coaster
life throws these twists all the time
whether we want it or not
the roller coaster may turn you upside down
and your life is completely turned upside down sometimes too
sometimes its just smooth sailing
but wheres the fun in that
its relaxing for so long
until it gets boring
and you want adventure again
whether up or down
i guess life is also like a boat
the ocean is calm and peaceful most of the time
but when the storm hits its devistating
some people bear through the storm in a productive manner
other people crack
and go crazy
thinking that its all over
life is interesting
it just depends on how you choose to look at it |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|09:54 pm] |
its hard to let go and be carefree and happy
somtimes you have to care |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|03:44 pm] |
everythings so much more fun when youre carefree
not like when you try to be purposely carefree
but just like when you stop caring for things that you know would worry you
just letting go
and living life in the present
no worries of the future
no regrets in the past
just happiness |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|02:14 pm] |
life is so confusing
it never makes sense
or maybe it makes perfect sense
its weird
once i get an idea in my head
i feel so confident about it
until something happens to disprove it
then i get confused
and start doubting my thoughts
and then i let the best thing that could ever happen to me slip away
and i miss all of my oportunities
and while im doubting myself
i let my life get worse
then i doubt more
and it gets worse
im jealous
im sad
im mad
im lonely
im happy
im confused
i dont even know if im happy or sad anymore
i try to be happy
but then things happen that remind me to be sad
im messed up
i trust people
and at the same time
i think theyre lieing to me
and i tihnk how their lieing is justified
and how they should lie to me
cause the truth would hurt me
it probably already does anyways
then i think why cant they be honest to me
but then i realize they must lie
but then i think
well what if theyre telling the truth
then im happy and carefree
but then when i see them act against what they say
i get confused
i feel lied to
and used
i feel that everything ive ever done for them was for nothing
sure i like helping people
even if i suck at it sometimes
but when im taken advantage of i dont like it
sure i'll help people
but when all they rely on me is to do things for them
and dont even appreciate me outside of the things i do for them
i feel used
then i think
do i set myself up for this
sure
i dont blame anyone else anymore
i blame myself
i let myself be taken advantage of
i let myself get hurt
i let myself think bad thoughts
i drive people away from me
i make people hate me
i make me hate myself
i control what other people think of me
i let myself fail
i make my self disappointed
i make myself angry
i tell myself im never good enough
i let things bother me
i let myself take things to seriously
i ruin my life
no one else
i ruin other peoples lives
im always a pain in the ass
im a crybaby
im a jerk
im too cocky
i only care about myself
i cant accept things
i cant let people live their own lives
im too clingy
im too judgemental
im too lazy
im too ugly
im to insecure
i make people feel uncomfortable
im annoying
i create my own problems
i waste peoples time
im too paranoid
im too grumpy
im too mean
im too nice
i try too hard
i dont try enough
im messed up |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
what do you do when mulitple worlds collapse on you
can several actions be changed with a few words
can you go from one extreme to the other rationally
is anything masked that needs to be uncovered
why is there change
why is there uncertainty
what do things really mean
why do lies exist
what justifies actions
what legitimizes words
why do conflicts exist
what are the true motives behind actions and words
what is real
what is false
what is good
what is bad
why does a public private dichotomy exist
what do you do when all else fails
what do you do when you cant decide
what do you do when your trust is betrayed
how do you forgive
what is forgiveness
why are people sorry
what entails sorrow
why are words meaningless
why must things fail
how do you try for change
what does try mean
is change good or bad
why must we make decisions
do we have to make decisions
is there a gray area between choices
what is life
what do we do with it
why do we live it
when does it lose value
when do we stop caring
why do people care
what is care
what is love
what is hate
what is indifference
why must we not know answers
do we need answers
do we have answers
what is an answer
why
why not |
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